I have a first grader who whinnes and cries for no good reason several times thoughout the day. He is very emotionally immature. His parents accept it for who he is and says it ishis personlality. Any ideas on how to help break him of this bad habit.

I hsve a lot of criers in my class (kindergarten) this year but it is usually not for "no good reason." Students could cry because it is an attention-getting strategy that works for them at home, because they miss their parents / are otherwise unhappy in class, because they don't feel included.. I had one girl who cried for half a class period before I realized she had forgotten our class signal to go to the bathroom There is almost definitely a reason this student is acting this way. I have found WBT strategies are a great way to "distract" students from missing parents or other emotional concerns... they get so excited and wrapped up in class that they forget about what might be upsetting them. WBT is also a great way to give them lots of positive attention when they might otherwise cry for attention ("____ is acting so grown up in class today! Give me an oh yeah!"). I would start by talking to the parents about a joint strategy to have the student express his emotions in a healthy way. Simply teaching one of my students to say "I feel angry" instead of crying worked wonders. It depends on the kid and the situation, but you can do it!

Maturity often plays a big role in first grade. Moreover, if the parents are tolerant that makes your day more of a challenge. I propose that you try to provide this student with some leadership roles. Do you have a Super Improvers wall in the classroom? Would this student be able to call out mirrors, class, or yes for you? You see more buy in when students feel that they play an important role in the classroom.


Heather Hansen
Wbt Intern
2011/12

Thanks for the advice. This student cries when he feels that he can't keep up with the class work. He is one of my top students academically and is smart but if I move on to the next problem when he is not completely done he melts down. I tell him there is no reason to cry to because I will give him more than enough time to work. He is not a slow worker at all and will be caught up in 2 seconds. He cries if he doesn't have a ball in p.e. when half the class doesn't have a ball because the game or activity doesn't require one. He doesn't think to wait for instructions or to realize that other don't have a ball. Instead of stopping and trying to be a problem solver and think logically he breaks into a melt down. he cried when we went down for lunch because he lft his lunch int he classroom. I tried to encourage him to solve his problem by thinking what he can do or ask me instead of crying. He could not think of what to do. I had him ask me if he could go back and get his lunch, when he did I said yes. I guess it all stems down to not knowing how to be a problem solver and solve his own problems.

The Super Improvers Wall is an amazing tool to have in your classroom! It allows you to "catch" and reinforce desired behaviors. When you know a child is capable of succeeding in an assigned task, and that he is not in physical danger, ignoring the undesired behavior is very important for stopping any form of reinforcement of it. Some children get very conditioned at home and school at grasping for any form of adult attention they can get,even the negative type. As Heather said, maturity can also play a part in a six year old. Changing the behavior requires consistent responses to it, which ultimately can create security for the child. To get more information on Improvers Wall go to the WBT site and view Program 503 in the Video Library. Hang in there!

Nancy Stoltenberg
WBT Intern 2011-2012

Nancy, your advice hit home. I have a "few whining " students and was confused why this was reoccuring. Thank you for your help.
Annette

Thank you I will try it. I remember reading about the Super Improvers Wall at the beginning of the year but forgot about it. I will try it.

You will find the super improvers wall is a great way to reward individual students. The "wall" can be used to show case students who are really hard workers and encourage the rest. It will be worth your time to read more on this subject.

Annette

To me this sounds like a learned behavior; especially since this is 1st grade and he hasn't been in school long, I would agree that this is probably his primary strategy for getting what he wants at home and it works and is tolerated. Honestly the first thing I would try is extinction. Completely ignore the student while he is crying and then immediately provide attention when he stops.

That's a reaction during the actual behavior event. To prevent, take the student aside and let him know politely and firmly that while it's ok to cry, awesome students don't cry over little things, and that you want to see him working on his problems instead of crying about them and that will make you very proud of him. Don't reinforce how smart he is, there are tons of studies coming out right now that students who are "smart" won't take risks for fear that if they fail they won't be smart anymore, but students who are praised for working hard understand that if they fail they can fix it.

If extinction doesn't work, try a contract. Something like if he starts crying but stops when you cue him, he gets a small reward, something as simple as a sticker, (or a star on the Super Improvers Wall, if you implement it.

Dave Sudia
WBT Intern 2011-2012

I have a lot of pupils like that since I am handling kindergarten and first grade especially during the first two months. I also have a nephew who loves to cry just to get something. The thing is... the more you show that you are affected with their cry and that the more you let them feel that they can get something out of crying... (like not doing the task because it's hard why waste my time I'll just cry) the more they will rely on crying. What I usually do is that, I talk to the child in a patient way with firmness that crying is not the solution. I also give a child the time to think and reflect... (doesn't matter if he won't do the activity but I explain to the child the consequence of not doing it and that he is the only person who can do something about the task...) However, I make sure that the child can still feel that he has my support. In case of nonsense crying, talking to the child privately and ignoring can work (We can't afford the whole class to be distracted just because of a non-sense crying!) In case the child is really crying loudly we can find a quiet place for him so that others will not be distracted. By means of this, the child can have the time to reflect on his own behavior. You will notice that after a month or two crying won't be a problem anymore. The key point is "Don't let the crying child feel that you are affected and afraid of his cry!" The challenge is we just need to do this in such a way that the child can feel that you are firm with your decision and at the same time you care for him.

Thank you for your help. I have the Super Improvers Board up and running. It is working well for all students. My crying student has many things to work on so he has earned stars in other areas but not for not crying. When my crying student cries the rest of the class has difficulty ignoring him. They want to reason with him on why not to cry but it just makes the situation worse. I have talked with the class about ignoring him and they have gotten better to ignore him. Since my class is very distracted by his crying I send him outside the door until his crying stops. I tell him that his crying is not allowed and when he stops he can come in. He usually dries up his tears and stops crying with in a few seconds. I am very firm about his crying so there are days when he is outside several times. I am trying to make him aware of how often he cries and that others do not.